


Today

by hughie87



Category: Smallville
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-06
Updated: 2014-07-06
Packaged: 2018-02-07 15:36:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1904415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hughie87/pseuds/hughie87
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As Clark makes his way through Chloe's wedding day, he wonders if he will ever be able to let her go</p>
            </blockquote>





	Today

**Author's Note:**

> Set in Season 8, in the episode 'Bride'.  
> Set to Gary Allen's song, 'Today'.

_Today,_

_He told her that he loved her,_

_Put a ring around her finger,_

_And promised her forever._

Sun streamed in through the filmy curtains and spilled his happy rays over the bed's lone occupant. Clark Kent rolled over onto his back and squinted out before throwing an arm over his eyes. It was finally here. The day he'd been dreading since September. The day of his best friend's wedding. The day he was supposed to give Chloe Sullivan away. Time had passed so quickly. Clark felt like it was only yesterday that Chloe was asking him to give her away at her wedding, an honor he had been so happy to accept. Lois and Chloe had kicked the wedding plans into high gear and Clark was shocked when Chloe told him she and Jimmy had set the date for the weekend before Thanksgiving. As the blessed day got closer and closer, Clark began to realize he wasn't so certain he could do this. Looking up at his ceiling, he knew he wasn't prepared. He wasn't ready to say good-bye to the woman who had become an extension of himself.

Clark pushed himself up into a sitting position, tenting the covers with his knees. In the hallway, he heard the bathroom pipes groaning to the life as his house guest took a shower, humming off-key the theme song to 'Married With Children' under his breath. Jimmy Olsen had been awake the whole night too, but Clark doubted it was remorse and guilt that kept the Groom-To-Be tossing and turning until the wee hours of the morning. Clark threw back his sheets and swung his legs over the side of the mattress, stretching his long arms over his head. He looked to his left at his clock. Lois and her gang of wedding elves would be invading his barn any second to transform it from farm grunge to wedding chic. The bathroom was quiet now. Clark made his bed quickly and then opened his door. The door to the room across the hall was standing open, the inside vacant. He looked down the hallway which was also deserted. He retreated back inside the room and grabbed a pair of jeans and a shirt before heading to the bathroom. He shut the bathroom door behind him and hung his clothes on the hook on the door. Flipping the shower curtain back, he reached in and started the water, cranking it all the way to hot. Shucking his pajamas, Clark stepped under the scalding spray.

By Clark's calculations, he knew he should have a good twenty minutes before the water heater ran out of hot water. Clark closed his eyes as he felt his muscles relax under the boiling temperature as it turned his normally golden hued skin to a brunt red. Clark tried to assure himself nothing would change between him and Chloe after today, but the truth was everything had already changed. It was better this way. Better for him and much better for her. It was safer and easier. Only, if that were true, why didn't he feel it? Clark shook the hair out of his eyes and squirted some shampoo into his hands. It didn't matter what it felt like, Clark told himself. The moment Chloe had been ushered into his world, she had been surrounded by danger, surrounded _herself_ with danger. She had become the one person Clark couldn't live without. If it meant going back to hiding what he was, to feeling only half alive, he would do it. Keeping Chloe safe was the _only_ thing that mattered.

Clark hurried through the rest of his shower, not wanting to be alone with his thoughts any longer than he had to. For the past week he'd been running from them. He didn't want to think of what he'd done, of what he'd given up. Shutting off the water, Clark stepped from the shower and toweled off. He dressed at normal speed and combed back his hair, allowing it to air dry. Stepping out of the bathroom, he heard Lois barking from the first floor.

_"Jimmy! Let's get a move on! You need to go grab the peguin suits!"_

The wedding was here; it had arrived. Today was the day Clark had been dreading.

~ ~ ~

_Today,_

_She smiled for all the pictures,_

_And he was right there with her,_

_Making all the memories,_

_Without me,_

_And it hurts to say this out loud,_

_Looks like she's really gone now._

Clark stopped at the end of his driveway and took off his jacket. He wrapped the router he'd borrowed for Oliver in the red material and resumed walking toward the farm. His truck was parked just at the edge of the house and Clark surreptitiously slid the box in the back along with some tools. Wiping his hands, he rounded his truck and looked toward the front porch. He felt his breath catch in his throat as he caught a glimpse of Chloe dressed in white standing beside the porch swing. She was looking off in the distance, one slender hand clutching the chain support and the other down by her side, holding her bouquet. It was the perfect shot for a bridal photo. Her eyes flitted around until they settled on him. A smile curved her lips upward and it lit her eyes. Clark felt one of his own answering. She had never seemed more beautiful to him. All too soon the moment melted like ice cream on a July day and she was smiling prettily as the photographer continued to snap and snap around her. He took a few steps only to halt when Jimmy bounded out onto the porch with her. Under careful direction, Jimmy and Chloe posed for some wedding photos.

Suddenly, Clark felt very left out. He took a seat on the ground over by the old oak tree and watched quietly. Clark gazed at Jimmy. Did Jimmy even know Chloe? _Really_ know Chloe the way Clark had come to know the little spitfire that was his best friend? Did Jimmy know about Chloe's addiction to lime flavored jelly beans? That she kept them stashed everywhere, like in a desk drawer at Isis, in the cabinet above the sink at Oliver's loft and a bag in the glove box of Clark's truck? Did Jimmy know that Chloe didn't actually like the taste of coffee? That she just drank it because she enjoyed the buzz that came after a few cups of strong brew? Did Jimmy know that Chloe's favorite movie _wasn't_ 'Twelve Angry Men' like she'd prefer everyone believe but 'Dirty Dancing'? Did Jimmy know that when Chloe drummed her fingers across a surface she was nervous? Did Jimmy know that when Chloe shrugged her shoulders she needed a hug? Did Jimmy know any of these little irresistible nuances that made Chloe indelibly _Chloe_? These little traits that ensured she was unlike any other woman in the world?

The happy couple continued to smile, unaware of the spectator paying such close attention. On any other day, Clark would have been right there with them. Or with her. Normally, he would be up on the porch, teasing Chloe or making faces at her. However, since the day in the Fortress, the day Clark had Jor-El safe-guard Chloe's memories, Clark had felt this screen descend between him and Chloe. He'd felt adrift from her. Clark hadn't realized just how much he associated feeling normal with Chloe. She'd always been the one to overlook his abilities, treat them as if they were just special advantages of being him, not what made _him_ special. Memories played in his mind like an old movie. It had been the two of them for the longest time. He could hardly remember a time before Chloe. He didn't want to know a time without her. Clark asked himself how he would learn to live without Chloe. He would need to learn to curb his neediness for her presence, his constant dependences upon her. It wasn't just _Chloe_ anymore, but Chloe and her _husband._ The man she was making new memories with. New memories to replace the ones he took away from her. From somewhere deep inside Clark came a throb of pain. Chloe shook the curling hair from her face as she leaned closer into to Jimmy.

Clark felt someone come up beside him. He looked to his right. Lois stood there, looking all misty-eyed at the pair. She sighed wistfully before turning to Clark. "So," Lois started. She bent her head and ran down a list of things on her clipboard. "Do you have your toast ready?"

"Sorry, my what?" Clark asked.

Lois gazed back at him. "Your toast? As Jimmy's Best Man, Chloe's Best Friend and _oh yeah,_ then man who is giving her away, it falls to you to make a toast during the reception."

"Lois, I really don't think-"

"It comes with the territory, Clark," Lois said in a business-like tone, although her eyes didn't quite match her tone. "It would mean a lot to Chloe if you would say a few meaningful words on her special day. And as the official Fairy Godmother of this ball, I am here to ensure Cinderella gets her wish."

"I thought you were Mother Goose?" Clark fired back, the thought of a toast to Chloe and Jimmy's happiness making his insides shrivel up.

Lois grasped Clark's shoulders and pushed him toward the house. "I don't want to see you again until those words are _memorized."_

_~ ~ ~_

_Today,_

_Is the happiest day of her life,_

_I should be happy for her,_

_Today,_

_Tell me why are these tears in my eyes?_

_I know I should be happy for her,_

_But I've lost everything,_

_I've lost everything I've ever wanted,_

_Today._

Clark looked around his barn, amazed at how quickly the decorators had been able to turn his Fortress of Solitude into Chloe's Chapel of Love. Above him in the loft he heard her and Lois talking in hushed tones.

_"When in trouble, leave it to Clark Kent to get you out of a jam,"_ Chloe told Lois in a confident tone. He smiled. Turning around, he headed up the stairs to see what the women had got themselves into.

"What are you two girls doing?" He asked as he arrived on the top step. Chloe and Lois both turned to him, Chloe holding a box in her hand.

"The bride needs something borrowed to take to the alter," Lois answered.

Clark looked to Chloe just as she opened the box she held. "How about you carry your piece of Smallville's Finest Meteor Rock down the aisle?" She asked him with a smile.

Clark swallowed as the sickening effects washed over him. He took a few steps away, clinging to the banister for support. He never thought he'd see his best friend wielding a piece of poison to him again.

"Hey, why don't you put that away?" Clark suggested shakily. "I have a better idea."

Chloe shut the box, looking at him intriguingly. When the box was safely closed and put back on his desk, Clark came back onto the landing. He spotted his high school yearbook from his Senior year sitting on a table by the couch. He snagged it and opened it to a certain page. There, pressed between the pages and beside Chloe's senior picture, was the white rose she had pinned on his lapel freshmen year when they had gone to the Spring Formal together. He picked it up, caressing the dried stem in his fingers. He raised it before him, offering it to her.

Chloe furrowed her eyebrows as she took it from him and then her features softened when she realized it was a flower. She lifted her eyes to him, an unspoken question as to why he was had a dried up rose in his yearbook.

"You gave that to me freshmen year," Clark began in explanation. "At the Spring Formal."

Chloe held his eyes. "And you kept it all this time?"

Clark hated her disbelieving tone. He'd left her that night to go save Lana, the first of many times he would break her heart. He could see why she wouldn't believe that that flower was so special to him, a reminder of what the two of them had momentarily shared.

Clark schooled his features, careful to let Chloe only see the happiness for her shining out of his eyes. "I never throw away good memories."

Chloe looked down and then back at him, a soft smile playing at the corner of her lips as she gazed at him.

"Thanks, Smallville," Lois said, breaking Chloe and Clark out of their shared trance. Clark looked over at her. "Another pre-wedding fire put out."

Clark nodded and looked back to Chloe. His heart skipped a beat as she still stood smiling at him with beaming eyes. The way she used to look at him all the time.

"If you're all set," Lois directed at Chloe before pointing a finger at Clark. "You and I have to vamoose. It's almost high-noon and we have a show-down to get ready for."

Lois sauntered past him. With one more look at Chloe, Clark followed Lois' swinging ponytail. He stayed a few paces behind Lois all the way into the house.

"Jimmy put your tux on the back of your door and do you have your toast memorized?" Lois asked right as she stopped at Clark's bedroom door.

Clark gazed back at her. "I-" He started.

"Clark! Please Google something, at least, and _try_ to put a personal spin on it? Okay?" Lois stalked off muttering to herself. Just as she opened the guest room door she turned back to Clark. "I trust you can get dressed on your own?"

"I think I can manage that," Clark replied, matching her snotty tone.

"Well, seeing is believing," Lois said before she stepped in and shut the door.

Clark did the same. He looked at his tux waiting behind the door for him. Reaching out, he pulled it off the hook and laid it on his bed. The inevitable moment was getting nearer and nearer. Pulling out a chair, Clark sat and glared at the tux. This was supposed the happiest day of Chloe's life. He wanted so much to be happy for her. He wanted so much to be happy for Chloe and the new phase of her life that was beginning today. Why couldn't he just be happy? Clark knew why. It was reason he'd been trying to avoid since Davis Bloome had spilled the beans about Chloe getting married. It was the same reason why Clark had thought that taking away Chloe's memories of who he was would make this day easier. But how was giving the woman you loved away to another man easy? Clark put his face in his hands and took a deep breath.

He loved her. Somewhere along the crazy road he'd walked down, he'd fallen in love with his best friend. He'd known for a while, but had been too scared to tell her. Scared he'd make all the same stupid mistakes he'd made with Lana. Scared that one day the burden of his love and his secret would drive his life's center away for good. Clark clenched his teeth and cursed. He sat up straight. He'd lost it. He'd lost everything. Even if Chloe didn't marry Jimmy today she was lost to him. The safe harbor of her love and friendship had been taken away that cold moment in the Fortress. Anger, burning anger at himself boiled up within him and with a vicious kick he splintered his night table. He could have had it all. Clark bit back his tears. He and Chloe could have made it work. If he'd only had faith. But fear had overcome faith and now he was about to say good-bye to her for the second and final time. The full weight of what he'd given up settled down upon him. He could say it was for Chloe protection until he was blue in the face. The truth was he did it for him. As long as she didn't know, as long as she couldn't remember, Clark could hide behind his secret once more. He could cut himself off. Protecting her from Brainiac had just been a lucky coincidence. With a cynical smile, Clark sniffed and stood.

He dressed in super-speed before he lost his nerve. He grabbed the pair of cuff links from his dresser and yanked his bedroom door open, fleeing from the oppressive self-accusations pushing in at him from all sides. He skipped down the stairs to the parlor where he paced as he tried to fasten the cuff links. He would be happy. Chloe was much better off without him. This was the happiest day of his best friend's life and he would be happy if it killed him. He would do this. Chloe had supported him all these years and today was her day.

_"I will be happy,"_ Clark growled to himself as he tried again to fasten one of his dad's old cuff links.

"Smallville! Chop, chop!" He heard Lois yelling up at the second floor. He turned and walked over to the doorway to the hallway. "Let's go! We can't have a wedding without the escort to give the bride away!"

He mentally thanked Lois for the reminder as he met her at the foot of the stairs. She stopped, almost startled to see him ready and waiting for her.

"Looks like you’re ready," she said in surprise.

"I have it all under control except for the cuff links," Clark growled in frustration at the disobedient link. "They were my Dad's and I've never had to put them on before."

"Well, I guess you don't have much need for cuff links when you have a whole closet full of flannel shirts, huh, Farmer Joe?" Lois teased with a smile as she tucked a notepad and ring box under her arm. Clark smiled half-heartedly, remembering when Chloe had reached over the other day and re-did his tie when they had been at lunch.

_"Still haven't quite mastered the art of the fox and rabbit, have ya, Old McDonald?"_ She'd teased as she efficiently tightened the knot at his throat.

Lois took his wrist. "Big city boy, let me give you a lesson. You just have to make sure. . ." Lois began to show Clark how to fasten the cuff link but Clark was off in another memory, one where the sun turned the brunette's hair to a golden sheen and she was idly fiddling with the buttons on the cuff of his flannel shirt sleeve. Clark came to himself when he felt Lois let go of his wrist. Clark cleared his throat, embarrassed that he hadn't paid attention.

Lois stepped back and smiled widely. "The ring," Lois waved a black box at him. "You can give that Jimmy when the Minister signals and here are his vows, in case he forgets."

Clark took both the box and the thin envelope, slipping the ring into his pants pocket. Unable to help himself, Clark opened the envelope and slid out the single sheet of paper. He couldn't believe Jimmy's vows were only the size of an index card. "It's really hard for me," Clark read absent-mindedly. "To put my feelings into words, but from the moment we met I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you." Clark swallowed. Why hadn't he realized as soon as Jimmy had? If he had, so much would be different. "Jimmy's vows are really-" Clark bit off the end of his derisive statement when he caught Lois looking at him. "Sweet."

"Yeah, he's a regular Cinero," Lois replied with a questioning look at him.

Clark remembered the way Lois had acted at Chloe's engagement party. He wondered if she'd changed her mind yet. He was about to ask her what she thought of the couple's hasty nuptials when the videographer rounded a corner.

"Hey guys, how about a testimonial before the ceremony?"

Remembering his vow to be happy for Chloe and wanting to get this over with as soon as he could, Clark side-stepped Lois and positioned himself. The kid gave him some tips and Clark put on a smile. "Jimmy, Chloe, I can't tell you how _happy_ I am that the two of you found each other. You're very lucky to be together. Look, your wedding day is going to be perfect. I'm going to make sure of it."

Lois rolled her eyes at him. "Stop hogging the spotlight, Smallville…"

~ ~ ~

_Today,_

_I thought about the moment_

_I could have said I loved her_

_And promised her forever together_

_Today,_

_Today it really hit me_

_That she don't really miss me_

_She's found a new beginning_

_And I'm wishing I had one more chance_

_God knows it's too late for that_.

"Lois, would you mind if I had a few minutes alone with Chloe?" Clark asked his counterpart as they made their way to the barn.

Lois looked over at Clark. She lowered her brows. "Are you okay, Smallville? You've been acting funny all day. More than usual, which is saying something for you."

Clark shrugged his shoulders as he continued eying his barn as it filled with wedding guests, most of whom he didn't recognize. Most were friends from Chloe's time at the Daily Planet, as well as Jimmy's. A few of the older adults were people she and Clark had grown up with in Smallville and a few high school friends Chloe had kept in contact with. Clark scanned the edge of the throng for Victor or Bart or AC, but didn't see any of them. Chloe had told him they had RSVP'd maybe, but it looked like Oliver would be the only one of his League in attendance tonight.

"I'm fine, Lois. I just need a few minutes with her is all. Can you give me that?" Clark repeated as they made it to the doorway of the barn, ignoring Lois' caustic dig.

Lois, in a rare moment of insightfulness, nodded and reached out and laid a hand on Clark's forearm. "Chloe is still Chloe, even if she's married. No one can replace you as her numero uno amigo. I doubt even her husband can usurp your title. Take all the time you need, Clark. Signal to me when you both are ready." With a supportive smile, Lois mixed into the gathered crowd. Clark looked upward, knowing Chloe was up there, waiting like a queen for her coronation. He started up the stairs, taking two at a time. Clark frowned slightly when he found Oliver leaning against one of the rails.

"Bart wanted me to remind you that if you change your mind, one call and he'll come running," Oliver teased.

Chloe laughed from her perch on the sofa. Her white silk dress was spread out around her like petals on a flower, totally obscuring her feet.

"The team sends their love and best wishes. They wanted to come but didn't think it would be wise since they all are being tracked, it seems," Oliver continued, throwing a look at Clark.

"I understand," Chloe replied. "I'm glad you could make it."

"What? And miss the smartest blonde I know getting hitched? Never," Oliver answered. He caught Clark's eyes and cleared his throat. "Well, I better get down there if I want a good seat. Congratulations, Chloe." Oliver pushed away from the rail and leaned down, pressing a kiss to Chloe's cheek.

"Thanks, Ollie," Chloe said with a smile as she squeezed his hand. "Hey, if you see Lois, can you tell her it looks like we're ready to get this ball rolling?"

"Sure-"

"Actually, Oliver, I'm going to let Lois know," Clark broke in. Chloe looked at him with a cocked eyebrow.

Oliver shifted his gaze between Chloe and Clark. "Okay. Talk to you later, Boy Scout." Oliver patted Clark's shoulder as he descended down the stairs.

"Boy Scout?" Chloe asked with raised brows as she stood.

"Yeah, just a nickname," Clark answered vaguely.

"I think it fits. Although, I can't remember if you were ever in Boy Scouts when we were growing up. Were you?" She asked with crinkled brows. Clark could tell she was trying to recall something about him.

"No, but that's not why he calls me that. It doesn't matter," Clark answered again, still vague.

"So," Chloe started. "What's up?"

They met in the middle of the loft. Clark looked down at her. She was the prettiest bride he had ever seen. He reached down and took her hands in his.

"Clark? Is everything okay?" Chloe asked him again, her eyes big and caring like they always were when she gazed at him.

Clark squeezed her hands tenderly. _I can do this, I must do this,_ he bolstered to himself. "Everything is fine, Chloe. I just wanted a few moments with you," Clark told her in a shaky voice.

Chloe smiled. She withdrew one of her hands and flicked his wildflower boutonnière. "It feels like I haven't seen you all day. Lois has had me on a strict timetable. Her military background finally invaded today. The General would have been proud of his little soldier."

"You look beautiful, Chloe," Clark said softly.

Chloe smiled and blushed becomingly under his intense scrutiny. She looked down at her dress and then back at him, looking up at him the way she did on a spring evening many years ago. "Too bridal?"

"No, not at all," Clark answered, still staring down at Chloe with soft eyes.

"Thanks," Chloe replied, running her left hand nervously through the underside of her hair. Something clattered to the floor and Clark looked down. He bent and picked the object up from his feet, holding it in his hand as he looked down at it. It was Chloe's real engagement ring. The one Clark had helped Jimmy pick out, not the gum ball ring the guy had gotten from a vending machine.

"I guess it still doesn't fit right," Chloe muttered.

"Here." Clark took Chloe's hand again and slipped it on the appropriate finger. Chloe watched as Clark slid the ring onto her finger and met his eyes. Clark swallowed. He remembered the day he'd found out Chloe was engaged. He'd felt his stomach plummet to his feet. And finding out from someone other than Chloe. Why hadn't Chloe told him?

_"We've been friends for such a long time. . ." Chloe answered, gazing at Clark uneasily. Clark knew, as she did, they'd been more than friends for a long time; always on that verge of being more, dancing on the cliff, daring the other to jump off._

_"We're more than friends, Chloe," Clark began, wanting to tell her she'd always been more to him. That he wanted her to be more to him. That when Davis had told him she was getting married he felt as if he couldn't breathe. The words wouldn't come. They were there, right back in his throat but they wouldn't dislodge. Chloe plowed on, unaware of Clark's inner struggle with his feelings._

_"When Jimmy and I get married, things are probably going to change," Chloe told him. She was searching his face, almost as if she was waiting for him to save her from herself. "I don't know if I'm ready for that."_

Clark knew that was the moment. That was the moment he should've told Chloe that he was in love with her. Chloe closed the door on them that night. She had given Clark one more chance and he blew it. Instead of taking a risk and opening himself up to the possibility of pain and happiness again, he chose to keep quiet, to choose the safer option. Now, staring down at Chloe, he would give anything to go back and change that night. But he couldn't.

"Thanks, Clark," Chloe said, breaking Clark out of his musings. She slid her hand out of his and stepped a few inches away.

"You ready for this?" Clark asked, making sure his voice was back to its normal lightness when talking to Chloe.

"No," Chloe answered truthfully. "I don't know what I'm doing, Clark."

Clark's heart jumped. Was she asking him to save her? Had she changed her mind? Could he really be that lucky?

"But I like it," Chloe continued, looking off over the railing. Clark followed her gaze over his shoulder and landed on Jimmy. He looked back to Chloe. In the past, that gaze had been his. Chloe used to look only at him like that. She'd moved on. She returned her gaze to Clark. "I think it's supposed to be that way."

"You just say the word, Chloe," Clark said, gauging her expression for any noticeable flicker. "Say the word and I'll have you out of here in a flash. We can go anywhere. I'll take you anywhere."

Chloe smiled at him and shook her head. "I don't think we'd get very far on your tractor, but thanks for the offer, Clark."

"I'm really happy for you, Chlo," Clark said thickly.

"I think it's time, Clark," Chloe said softly.

Clark looked at Chloe, feeling tears prick the back of his eyes. "I think you're right," he whispered.

Clark reached out and took Chloe's hand. He fingered the ring before pulling Chloe to him and wrapping her tightly within his arms. Chloe laid her head on his shoulder, relaxing against him.

Someone cleared their throat softly and Clark reared up while Chloe pulled back serenely and flicked her eyes over to Lois. Clark looked quickly at Lois and then began to study his shoes, ignoring her suspicious expression.

"You ready, Cinderella?"

Chloe nodded, tucking her arm around Clark's. "We're ready."

Lois turned and made a signal with her hand. She snatched Chloe's bouquet and veil off the desk and scampered over. Carefully, she fastened the veil in her cousin's hair and then pressed the bouquet it into Chloe's outstretched hand. After that, Lois wrapped her younger cousin in a tight hug.

"I love you, cuz," Lois whispered quickly. She kissed Chloe's cheek before pulling the veil down over her face. "See ya down there." She waved and disappeared down the stairs.

Chloe and Clark took their places at the top of the stairs. Chloe linked her arm through Clark's again and took a deep breath.

"Time for 'Happily Ever After'," Clark told her.

"No," Chloe countered, shaking her head with a radiant smile. Pachelbel's Canon in D filled the barn in gentle strains, cuing the guests gathered below to stand. Chloe looked once more at Clark. "That's what you say at the end of a story. It's time for 'Once upon a time. '"

~ ~ ~

_Today,_

_Is the happiest day of her life,_

_I should be happy for her,_

_Today,_

_Tell me why are these tears in my eyes?_

_I know I should be happy for her,_

_But I've lost everything,_

_I've lost everything I've ever wanted,_

_Today_.

Clark stood over to the side, watching the dozen pairs of dancers sway to the light jazz that was being served up, carefully avoiding the princess in white nuzzling the nose of her Prince Charming as they danced. He looked around as a PA voice floated out of a hidden speaker.

_"Now we'd like to ask Chloe's escort to join her on the floor."_

Chloe turned from Jimmy, quickly finding him in the crowd. "Hey, Clark. Come to boogie," she ordered him with a crook of a finger.

Clark stepped off the platform of the stairs and met Chloe, swinging her into his arms. They danced comfortably for a few moments before Chloe spoke.

"I know it's weird, isn't it?" She gestured around them with her eyes.

"A little," Clark responded.

"Thank you for letting us have our wedding here," she told him.

Clark sighed. "It's the least I could do," he replied with an easy smile. "You always were the best friend I ever could have had."

Chloe met his eyes with a perplexed look. "You say that like something's changed. Clark, trust me, we've been through _too_ much together. Nothing's going to make me forget that."

Clark winced before giving her a small smile. The guilt of what he'd done and why washed over him again. "You're right," he replied quietly. As if needing to rationalize what he'd done again, he continued. "The important thing is your life is everything you want it to be."

Chloe took a deep breath and made the tiniest of confused frowns before smiling again. "It is. It's like I've been carrying around this weight."

Clark gripped her tighter. She was saying the things Clark had never wanted to hear her say. The things he'd always feared she would say before she left him.

"And I don't know why but a few days ago, I finally let go. Like I can move on," Chloe finished.

Clark felt his heart clutch at her statement. He felt a slight hand tap his shoulder.

"Okay, CK. My turn to dance with my wife," Jimmy said to his right.

Clark forced a smile and relinquished Chloe to her husband, stepping back into the shadows. Alone.

~ ~ ~

_Today,_

_Was the happiest day of her life_

_I should be happy for her_

_But I've lost everything_

_I've lost everything I ever wanted._

Clark looked around, shock numbing him as he watched remotely the nurses and doctors attending to the injured and disoriented wedding guests at Smallville Medical Center. He continued walking down the hall, searching for someone, anyone, who had seen Chloe and or knew where she was. This wasn't supposed to have happened. This was all his fault. Chloe still hadn't been safe. He looked into rooms, hoping in one he would find Chloe, alive and unharmed.

"Please let Oliver be wrong," Clark muttered under his breath. "Please let her be here." But Clark knew she wasn't. He had searched the barn, the farm, the Talon, all of Smallville before coming here on a slim prayer that maybe, _just maybe,_ she'd freed herself from the beast and come here. People pushed past him as he walked. He glanced to his left and his eyes fell on Lana. She was draped in a hospital gown while an orderly doctored her injured leg. He turned inside. Lana looked up and made room for him on the slender hospital bed.

"Any word on Chloe?" She asked with slight franticness as the orderly got up to wash his hands.

"No," Clark answered defeated as he sat down. He waited for the second man to leave before continuing. "I'm meeting with Oliver. He's using every satellite in his company to try and track down where it might have taken her."

The two were silent for a moment. Lana shifted and winced. Clark reached out and steadied her. "You all right?" He asked companionably.

Lana looked him in the eye. "Clark, there's nothing more you can do for me. You don't need to stay," she told him, reading the guilt on his face over her and Chloe's plights.

"I know." Clark had no intention of staying. He'd simply come in here to check on her before he went in search of Lois and Jimmy. "I need to find Chloe," he said with renewed vigor. He pushed himself off the bed and out of the room. He walked with more purpose. He asked a nurse where he could find Jimmy Olsen and she directed him to a room down the hall and around a corner. When he rounded the corner, he found a badly shaken Lois leaning against a wall. A quick glance through the window told him he'd found Jimmy's room.

"Lois," he said, garnering her attention. She turned to him, not bothering to hide her tear-filled eyes and trembling hands. "How are you holding up?" Clark forced himself to ask. He fought to appear as a pillar of strength, but inside he was terrified. He wanted nothing more than to curl up in a corner and scream at the injustice of it all.

Lois turned to him, fidgeting with the simple necklace that graced her collarbone. "Jimmy's in bad shape."

"The nurse said they had him stabilized?"

"But he's not out of the woods," Lois countered. "He has severe internal bleeding. They're medevac’ing him to Star City to one of the country's top surgeons. I'm going to go with him. I'll stay there until I hear from-" Lois broke off. Tears gathered in her eyes and she forced out, "Chloe."

Clark nodded, not knowing what to say in the face of Lois' grief. He didn't even want to deal with his own or the feeling of inadequacy at protecting Chloe from anything.

"Why did this have to happen to _her_?" Lois demanded chokingly. "Why do these _terrible things_ keep happening all around us?"

Clark reached out pulled Lois to him, ignoring her stiffness at accepting his comfort.

"I _promise,"_ Clark vowed. "We're going to get Chloe back."

Lois softened and sniffled into his shoulder. "What if we can't?" She whispered.

Clark had nothing to say. She'd just voiced the thing Clark was refusing to acknowledge. What if this time, Clark couldn't save Chloe? What if this time, she was really gone? The Doomsday beast had tossed him like he was an air-filled beach ball and Jor-El had already warned him of its almost indestructible nature.

Lois pushed out of his embrace without a word and walked away. Clark watched her, but he didn't see her. Instead, he saw Chloe striding down the hall, her blonde hair bouncing and shimmering as she went. She turned and looked over her shoulder, holding his eyes for a number of seconds. And then she disappeared, leaving him with the ghost of her memory and Lois standing in her place. Lois broke eye contact and walked ahead into Jimmy's room.

Clark turned and stared inside. Jimmy was unconscious, bruised and bloodied. Today, Clark had thought he'd lost everything he'd ever wanted to Jimmy. He had lost the one person who had given him acceptance when he felt out of place. The one who had given him a friend when he needed one; had given him peace when his soul was tormented; gave him understanding when he was lost; who anchored him when he was drifting; who gave him unwavering love. Now, Clark _knew_ he'd lost everything he'd ever wanted and it wasn't Jimmy who had stolen it. All Clark wanted was for Chloe to be safe. For Chloe to be happy. For Chloe to be loved.

He bit the inside of his cheek as he watched the doctors speaking stoically to Lois who was nodding and quickly dashing at her eyes. Clark breathed in through his nose and turned, walking away toward the exit.

_Today, he told her that he loved her,_ Clark thought as he the doors parted for him. _Put a ring around her finger._ The night swallowed him up in his dark tux, the chill feeling warm compared the numbing coldness wrapping around his heart.

Clark fisted a hand as he walked out into the parking lot, reveling in the anger that was causing flames to lick at his insides. _He promised her forever, together._ Clark would make damn sure she got it.


End file.
